Obsession (free verse)

I am seized with ailing thoughts

as my synapses loop masochistic hindsight.

I drift in hazy dreams of If-Then……

Oh! Tether present day

to hopeful tomorrow

or I shall drift

into meaningless past

undone by its incomplete script

or tomorrow shall see today’s loss!

These layers on layers

of half written plays gather dust

and I cannot brush away the scattered pages.

Fragmented sentences and words unsaid

give weight to thoughts forever unanswered.

I glide through present day

untouched by feeling for fear

of feeling the pain of a life shattered

as it slowly circles the drain.

I must release this unchangeable past

or go mad from wasted hope.

Part of my obsession is an uncontrolled looping journey into the past.  If I am to overcome it I must break its’ hold over me.

Picture: psychology today

Obsession (Free Verse)

I am seized with ailing thoughts

as my synapses loop masochistic hindsight.

I drift in hazy dreams of If-Then……

These fragmented sentences and words unsaid

give weight to thoughts forever unanswered.

These layers-on-layers of half-written plays gather dust

and I cannot brush away the scattered pages.

I glide through present day untouched by feeling,

for fear of feeling the pain of a life shattered

as it slowly circles the drain.

Oh! Tether present day to hopeful tomorrow!

Or I shall drift into meaningless past,

undone by its incomplete script

and tomorrow shall see today’s loss.

I must release this unchangeable past

or go mad from wasted hope.

♦♦♦

For introtopoetry, Day Nine: Apostrophe.  An apostrophe is an exclamatory figure of speech, sometime started with “O”, often directed to a third party.  Im not sure if this “hits the mark” but it suited my plea.

I wrote this some time ago, in a state of passionate exasperation, in less then five minutes one day when I was just fed up with ruminating over what was and creating dreams of what could have been.  My struggles with obsessive thoughts have, thankfully, softened with time.

Picture: psychology today