I am seized with ailing thoughts
as my synapses loop masochistic hindsight.
I drift in hazy dreams of If-Then……
Oh! Tether present day
to hopeful tomorrow
or I shall drift
into meaningless past
undone by its incomplete script
or tomorrow shall see today’s loss!
These layers on layers
of half written plays gather dust
and I cannot brush away the scattered pages.
Fragmented sentences and words unsaid
give weight to thoughts forever unanswered.
I glide through present day
untouched by feeling for fear
of feeling the pain of a life shattered
as it slowly circles the drain.
I must release this unchangeable past
or go mad from wasted hope.
Part of my obsession is an uncontrolled looping journey into the past. If I am to overcome it I must break its’ hold over me.
Picture: psychology today