Forgone (Pleides)

Falling into despair

Failure seizes all thought

Forsake mad existence

Flee blind as fear…. engulfs

Fly to dark depths unknown

Foment restless sleeping

Forgone, my unseen wounds

— ♥ ♥ ♥ —

This was an attempt to describe feelings associated with the intense stress of this year of hell.

Pleiades: The title is one word.  The first or last word of the sentence matches the first word in the single title. All first words start with the same letter as the title.  There are 7 lines, each 6 syllables! 

 

Feud (Pleides)

 

Feud rises with cold lies

Frost-filled with icy hate

Fight murderous desire

Fire singes angry thought

Fend off berserker state

Flee this frenzied fighting

Forswearing my mistakes

Anger can fuel carnivorous feelings, no matter whether it is expressed as hot or cold emotion.

Pleiades: The title is one word.  The first word of the sentence matches the first word in the single title. All first words start with the same letter as the title.  There are 7 lines, each 6 syllables! 

Picture: plus.google.com

Shattered (Pleiades)

She airs out hidden rooms;
soul tarnished dreams waft by–
sorrowful, dusty eyes-
sightless, sun-deprived orbs!
Stain-vintage hopes, forlorn;
sibilant whispers taunt.
Shattered, she shuts the door….

Contentment begins when one can accept where one is NOW, forget about what one COULD do, and wholeheartedly focus on what one CAN do, with no regrets.

I am not content.  I cannot forget what I have lost.  I am trapped in a body that is failing me.   I feel this most intensely, and therefore most bitterly, when I am on vacation.  Then, what I cannot do swallows me whole.

Anymore, my idea of a vacation is getting up when I am ready and spending time on a shaded recliner listening to the waves with a great smutty romance novel and a fruity alcoholic drink.  Pretty tame.

I recently was coerced into going to Arizona.  And I spent most of the vacation in our suite.  I cannot be out in the direct sun for more than 15 minutes before getting burned.  I also get fevers and feel terrible in the sun if out too long.  I have a congenital problem with my ear, which has led to chonic dizziness and vertigo, so any activity requiring balance is curtailed.  Furthermore, I have grade 4 neuropathy damage from chemo, a terrible curse.  My entire body is numb with burning pain, but if affects my feet the most, and my gait is unsteady on anything other than flat ground.  Recently I have developed severe tendonitis in both arms.  Any activity, even the simplest, is very difficult.  Combing my hair, showering, dressing, even holding a cup makes me want to cry.   My legs swell painfully if I am upright for any length to the point where I can leave my fingerprints all up and down my calves from the retained fluid.  I wont even mention the pain and fatigue of fibromyalgia.  I have other issues but these are keeping me from doing all but simple walking.  It appears that I skipped “middle age” entirely; I am quite simply….old.

Watching my family leave me every day for balloon rides, horseback riding, tomcar riding, shooting blah blah has led me to feeling pretty useless.

I am generally more cheerful and accepting and I have a biting, self-deprecating sense of humor.  But my work-life balance has been heavy on the side of work and non-existant on the side of balance. Last June my unit fell apart and I had to leave my part time status and work 12 plus hours a day.  No time for blogs, no thought for creativity and I have physically fallen apart even worse than before.

True to my resilience, I returned to this poetry blog during vacation and in some measure it did soothe my sore, downtrodden soul.  I have missed writing…so much…..

Thank you for reading……

Pleiades: Title is one word.  All first words start with the same letter as the title.  There are 7 lines, each 6 syllables!  Some poets copy the title as the first word of the first line, I chose to put it as the first word of the last line.

Disassembled Debris (Pleides)

Disassembled debris
Draconian anger
Dreary with drudgery
Dragged down….. dusty soiled wings
Disappointed dreamer
Delusions’ ball and chain
Depression signs its’ name

I hate mess and little thankless tasks that make me feel like a drudge. Over time I get mad and feel dragged into a grey life where everything becomes a task or obligation and I begin to regret all my decisions related to how I got to be where I am in my life. Breaking that chain is very difficult but essential if I am to ever have peace in my heart.

Picture: gyermekmesek.blogspot.com

Pleiades: The title is one word.  The first word of the sentence matches the first word in the single title. All first words start with the same letter as the title.  There are 7 lines, each 6 syllables! 

Dragon (Pleiades)

Dangerous enemy
         Daring eyes beguile me
            Dark promise deep within
             Demands stun my senses
              Determine my dire course
                  Drugged, my innocence lost
           Dragon lover unchained

My friend Greg, Memoirs of a dragon,  wrote a “U” themed Unicorn Pleides from a dragon viewpoint and dared me to write a “D” themed Dragon Pleides from a unicorn viewpoint. Not sure how well I met this challenge, but I had fun with it. Dragons and unicorns are sworn enemies, but mine are star crossed lovers.

Pleiades: The title is one word.  The first word of the sentence matches the first word in the single title. All first words start with the same letter as the title.  There are 7 lines, each 6 syllables! I cheated and reversed this so that the first word of the last line matches the title.

Betrayal (Pleiades)

 

Betrayal heists lovelorn
bitter ruminations
beneath joyful veneer.
Burdensome jaded thought
brings depressed spirits low.
Borrow from father time;
better luck tomorrow.

Betrayal takes many forms, but each begin with and Expectation that is disappointed by an Action.

Pleiades: The title is one word.  The first word of the sentence matches the first word in the single title. All first words start with the same letter as the title.  There are 7 lines, each 6 syllables! 

 

Picture: coolvibe.com

Fatigue (Pleides)

Fatigue….. my fatal friend

   Forged from spirit rended

  Feeble fight weakly fends

  Failed anchor drifts again

          Forlorn thoughts must amend

        Faith empowers….thoughts transcend

          Frail mind will someday mend

Picture: ebsquat.com

Everyone, at some point in their life, experiences soul rending fatigue .  Thoughts drift towards dark hopelessness.  Yet there is hope for a brighter tomorrow.  I know that Faith and Prayer can change my heart when it is full with aching sadness.

“F” words make for great pleides.  I have grown to appreciate them through cognitive testing, as one of the tests is to see how many “f” words  I can say in one minute.  At first, my mind just wouldn’t give me any, other then the overused “fuuuuuuuccccckkkk”, which ran around and around my mind as I struggled for “furniture” and “flower”.  Ever determined, I decided to study “F” words for poetic forms.  And that, coupled with my mood on the day of creation, made this poem.  I was successful in finding “f” words appropriate for the start of this poetic form, AND I was able to rhyme a pleides, not easy to do (!), so silver linings are intact and beautiful!  Although…don’t ask me to find another word that ends in, well,  END!

Bipolar Ecstacy (Pleides)

bipolar fairies

Broken dreams, deep despair

Bought with false promises

Bitten twice, hindsight feeds

Bitter consuming thought

Banish saddened pining

Bright effervescent mood

Bipolar ecstasy

This poem focuses on unconstructed thoughts and feelings associated with bipolar disorder based on traumatic life events in my past.

Pleides Poetic form: 7 lines and 6 syllables, the beginning letter of the sentence starts with the same letter as the title.

Picture: s229.photobucket.com