Ode to Saggy Baggy Pants

 

Who could think that fashion  would sink

to wearing pants under your bum.

This drives most  rational dressers to drink;

while this is quite “swag “ to some.

Teens these days with butt showing ways

are immune to eye rolling stares.

Don’t they know that the low pant craze

is not something people want them to share?

As usual they think that their “shit don’t stink”

otherwise they simply don’t care.

I cant imagine why holding up  their pants

does not drive them insane!

If they knew how silly the wiggle dance

looked, Im sure they would refrain.

And who wants to see their underwear

that often is nothing to brag about?

I certainly have no desire to “see down there”;

some bums are simply not meant to hang out.

I have threatened to lower my own pants in protest

(although the poor souls in my rear view

would not appreciate my mid-life jest)

just to offend this generation’s teenage crew.

But as my butt is saggy, dimpled and fat,

I shall refrain from  embarrassing you.

Some day their child’s teenage craze

will make teens today scream and shout.

Until then, we smarter persons must bend

to suffering this embarrassing craze out.

 

I love this poem!  While I am a passionate poet, and often have my best stuff when I am in gripped in an emotional upheaval, my favorite poems by far are my silly “ODES”!

I am DEVOUTLY hopeful that the decrease in “bum-swag” is suggesting that this awful phase is on the outs.  I wrote this earlier at a time when all I saw was the penguin walk from young men with an aversion to belts or decency.  But fashion never stays around for very long.  I hope that I will never have to see another pair of peek-a-boo underwear again.  But as this is pretty humorous, I hope you can grin and maybe show it to someone still clinging to this silliness.